After the stressful and emotionally trying nature of a relationship with someone who has a sex addiction, it is important for the partner of the sex addict, also referred to as the Co-Sex Addict (COSA), to receive therapy. Often times if COSAs do not receive therapy and support, they end up with lasting emotional damage that can hinder their ability to have healthy relationships in the future.
A COSA will often feel like a “crazy” person. They usually begin to have some idea that their partner is acting out sexually and will confront them about it. The addict will say anything they can to make the COSA feel wrong or crazy for thinking anything is going on. And so begins the pattern of “insanity”.
It is common for the COSA to begin his/her own pattern of addictive behaviors. Some COSAs have admitted to doing things they thought they would ever do. COSAs tend to display the following behaviors:
- Searching wallets
- Checking emails and phone records
- Following the addict
- Paying close attention to details in stories and looking for contradictions
- Becoming more attentive to smells and behaviors of the addict when returning from anywhere
This means that the COSA is losing herself/himself in the addicts’ world. If the addict is good at rationalizing and minimizing their behavior it can force the COSA into feelings of:
- Insecurity
- Suspicion
- Anxiety
- Confusion
- Depression and despair
- Loss of their sexuality and trust
Recovery for a COSA is not an overnight cure. It will take a long time for her/him to learn how to feel safe in a relationship, how to trust, and how to find her/his healthy sexuality again. A COSA often needs more time to heal than an addict. It is important that the addict give their partner as much time as she/he needs.
Couples therapy is highly effective for this process if the couple remains together. COSA or S-Anon are 12 step groups for partners of Sex Addicts and can be extremely helpful in the recovery process. Al-Anon and CODA can be helpful as well. The most important action the COSA must take is getting herself/himself into therapy. This is where the trauma, pain, anxiety and despair will begin to heal.
There is hope! Please contact us now to find out how we can help. |
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• Assessment
Determine whether or not you suffer from sexual addiction
• Individual Therapy
Receive the treatment you need in a safe, confidential one-on-one setting
• Group Therapy
Groups are currently available for Female Love/Sex Addicts/Co-Sex Addicts and are led by Director and Psychotherapist S. Renee Lederman.
• Couples Therapy
The best relationships are not random, they are created. Life Healing Counseling specializes in Imago Relationship Therapy which can help both partners to talk safely about tough challenges and emotionally charged issues.
• Partner/Spouse Treatment
Individual counseling and support groups, education, direction and help for spouses/partners of sex addicts are available.
• Intensives/Workshops
An intensive offers the opportunity to delve into issues deeply, in a period of time shorter than traditional therapy. |
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